Captions for 12/05
All Cats Don't Dance images © W.B.
Danny: Now look, darling, how did he die?
Frances: Oh, Mortimer, don't be so inquisitive. The gentleman died
because he drank some wine with poison in it.
Danny: Well, how did the poison get in the wine?
Tilly: Well, we put in wine because it's less noticeable. When it's in
tea it has a distinct odor.
"Arsenic and Old Lace," 1944
1. Francis: Young people these days.. Get a hotel room, you two!
2. Tillie: But then I got an abcess so they had to drain it. Talk about pain...
Francis: Oh yeah? Well you've never lived til you've had gallbladder complications. Let me tell you...
Danny( thinking): Ulp! Oh please..don't.
3. Tillie: Say
Hello to the folks, Mr. Kitty!
Francis: Give it up darling. Wink is never going to buy that
Frances: "Well, today is Sawyer's Birthday. What do you have for Sawyer there, Tillie?"
Tillie: " If you must know, it is a Danny plushie! I think Sawyer will
find it handy...
1. "How does it feel to be the father of SIX new kittens, Danny?"
2. "Let get this straight, Francis, the movie is called, A Fish
Called Wanda, but you aren't the lead. You are just seafood?"
3. "Critics can be so cruel, Danny. Be happy you didn't die in that
4. "It could be worse, Danny. Sawyer will forgive you, after all you
only tossed her into the scenery, during the dance routine. She only
suffered a black eye, concussion, sprain ankle, bruised tail, ......"
1. "Waiting just outside the Sound-Proofed Maternity Ward..."
2. Tillie: "Aren't those Botox injections marvelous?"
3. "Weekend at Danny's"
4. Francis: (thinking) He's as stuffed as my fifth husband...
5. The Joker pays a surprise Crossover visit, but this time nobody notices.
6. Francis debated telling Tillie just why Danny couldn't stop smiling, but thought the better of it. All of her husbands went through the same thing after their wedding nights, and the Hippo wasn't about to understand.
7. Being the cat that Danny is, it was very easy for this twosome to bury his body in a shallow grave and create a mannequin to behave just like him.
8. Nobody noticed, but Danny's glee had led to a silent-but-deadly heart attack.
9. Guinness Records: Longest Sustained Smile; Currently held by Daniel Cat, who maintained this expression for 197 days, 7 hours, and 24 minutes, running coincidentally with the pregnancy of his wife and the birth of his baby daughter. Streak ended when he changed his daughter's
diaper for the first time.
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